Practical Sales Training™ > How To Lose The Sale > Leading with lies
Leading With Lies
Most buyers have received an email that starts with something like “following up on our previous conversation” when there was no previous conversation. The intent is to trick them into engaging. But it does the opposite.
Trust is the foundation of every sale. Leading with a lie destroys that foundation before you have built a single brick of it. The buyer does not just ignore the message. They remember who sent it.
This page is not about how to lie better. It is about why lying never works and what to do instead.
What Is Leading With Lies?
Leading with lies refers to any outreach that uses a false pretence to get a response. The most common form is a cold email or call that implies a prior relationship, a mutual connection, or a shared context that does not exist.
Examples include subject lines that suggest a previous conversation took place, references to a meeting that never happened, or claims of a referral that nobody gave. Each of these relies on confusing the buyer long enough to engage before they realise the truth.
But buyers are not confused. They are sharp. Most people can tell within seconds when something does not add up. So the lie does not create an opening. It closes one permanently.
Why Does Leading With Lies Lose the Sale?
It loses the sale because trust is the one thing you cannot recover once you lose it. Nine times out of ten, the buyer knows they are being misled the moment they read the message. From that point, the buyer filters everything else through suspicion. No amount of clever copy or genuine value will undo a first impression built on a lie.
There is also a reputational cost that goes beyond the individual message. When a buyer spots a dishonest approach, they do not just delete the email. They form a view of the sender and the business behind them. That view sticks. So you lose not just this sale, but every future opportunity with that person and everyone they talk to.
Also, the lie tells the buyer something important about how you operate. If you are willing to mislead them to start a conversation, why would they trust you to keep your word once they become a client? The opening message is a signal of how you do business. Make sure it sends the right one.
How Can You Avoid Leading With Lies?
The honest answer is that if you feel the need to lie to get someone’s attention, you do not yet have a good enough reason to contact them. So the fix is not to find a better lie. It is to find a better reason.
Lead With a Genuine Observation
Before you reach out, take two minutes to look at the buyer’s business. Find something specific and real that you can reference. A recent post they wrote, a problem their industry faces, a change in their market. When your opening line shows you actually looked, it stands out immediately. Because most cold outreach is lazy, a message that shows genuine thought gets read very differently from the start.
Be Upfront About the Cold Contact
Acknowledging that you have not spoken before is not a weakness. It is refreshing. A line like “I know we haven’t spoken, but I noticed something about your business and wanted to share an idea” lands far better than a fabricated follow-up. Honesty signals confidence. It says you believe your reason for reaching out is strong enough to stand on its own without dressing it up.
Give Before You Ask
The best cold outreach leads with value, not a request. Share something useful, point out something the buyer might not have noticed, or offer an idea they can act on whether they ever speak to you or not. That approach creates goodwill rather than suspicion. Also, it sets a very different tone for the relationship. Because buyers who receive something useful from a stranger are far more open to hearing what else that person can offer.
Earn the Right to Follow Up
Rather than pretending a follow-up exists, create one legitimately. Engage with the buyer’s content, respond to something they shared, comment thoughtfully on a post they wrote. When you eventually reach out directly, there is real context to reference. That makes the contact feel natural rather than cold. The groundwork takes more time, but it produces far better results than a fabricated shortcut ever will.
When Leading With Lies Is Most Damaging
It is most damaging in small or niche markets where everyone knows everyone. In tight industries, a reputation for dishonest outreach travels fast. One person who spots a false pretence will often mention it to others in the same network. So the damage from a single misleading email can ripple far beyond the original recipient.
It is also most damaging when the buyer is already cautious about cold contact. Decision-makers at senior level receive a lot of outreach. Many are already sceptical before they open anything. Leading with a lie in that context does not just fail. It confirms every negative assumption they already had about salespeople.
Also, the damage compounds over time. A pattern of dishonest outreach builds a reputation that is very hard to shake. Even if you change your approach later, buyers who remember the old one will not give you the benefit of the doubt. So the cost of a few lazy shortcuts is often paid across years, not days.
Why Sellers Lead With Lies
Most do it because they are under pressure and have run out of better ideas. When the pipeline is thin and the target is close, shortcuts become tempting. A subject line that implies familiarity seems like it might just work. But the short-term thinking behind it almost always costs more than it saves.
Some do it because they have seen others do it and assume it must work. But the fact that something is common does not make it effective. Bad habits spread in sales just like anywhere else. Following them does not make you competitive. It makes you part of the noise.
However, the most honest reason is a lack of preparation. A lie fills the gap where a real insight should be. So the answer is not a better opening line. It is doing the work to find a genuine reason to make contact. That takes more effort, but it is the only approach that builds anything worth having.
Common Leading With Lies Mistakes
Implying a Relationship That Does Not Exist
One common version is using phrases like “as we discussed” or “following up on our chat” when no such conversation happened. Buyers catch this immediately. The only thing it achieves is making them feel manipulated before you have said anything of substance. So never imply a prior relationship unless one actually exists. Because the moment the buyer realises there was none, they treat everything else you say with deep suspicion.
Faking a Referral
Another common lie is dropping a name to imply a mutual connection that was never there. “I was speaking with [name] and they suggested I reach out” is a powerful opener when it is true. But when you invent it, and the buyer checks with the person whose name you borrowed without permission, the damage is severe. Trust collapses with both the buyer and that contact. So only ever reference real connections. A genuine referral is worth its weight in gold. A fake one is worth less than nothing.
Overstating Relevance
A third version is exaggerating how relevant your product or service is to the buyer’s specific situation. Claiming you have solved exactly their problem when you have never worked in their sector, or saying you understand their challenges when you did no research, is a softer lie but still a lie. Buyers with experience in their field can spot the generic pitch made to look like a tailored one. So do the work, understand the real context, and speak to what is actually true. Because a specific, honest message will always outperform a polished but empty one.
Leading With Lies – An Example
A sales rep cold emails a business owner with the subject line:
“Following up on our conversation last week…”
The business owner knows immediately that no such conversation happened. They delete the email and mentally write off the rep’s company. The lie did not open a door. It closed one that might otherwise have been open.
A better approach looks like this:
“I know we haven’t spoken before, but I noticed [specific observation about their business] and thought this idea could help you…”
Honest, specific, and respectful of the buyer’s intelligence. That approach does not always get a reply. But when it does, the conversation starts from a position of trust rather than suspicion. And trust is the only foundation a sale can actually be built on.
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